None of this is to say that there is anything wrong with being motivated to make improvements, do what’s right for you! But what I’ve learned is that it’s all about the mindset. Are those new years resolutions about exercise because I hate how tired I get in gym class or because I hate changing in the locker room? There IS a difference between wanting to be healthier and wanting to look healthier, because one is a positive: I can do it! The other is negative: I’m not good enough, I’m ashamed of my body.
I am trying to implement this mindset into my daily life, into my mirror. I wish I knew ten years ago that I my hatred of my body wouldn’t go away if my body changed. I could have looked like anything and I would have found some way to hate it. I wish I had known that it was my perception of myself that had to be exercised, worked out and maintained.
I’ve come a long way and I’m looking forward to the upcoming day when I look in the mirror and decide if I like my outfit based on the clothes and not mostly on how they make my body look. When I am working out and I’m proud what my body is accomplishing and not wishing that there was less of me. I’m so excited for the day when I’m entirely confident in my body and not sometimes ashamed of it. I’m glad I now know that it isn’t the state of my body that will give me that satisfaction but my mindset regarding it.