Sometimes it starts with a note or a lyric. Just one note. I sit with this word or note all day. Like waiting quietly for a squirrel to come near you. I keep a big space around me in my soul to let the note come near me- the idea, really, like the feeling of the song. Usually this is a very somber and foreboding feeling. Sometimes filled with longing anguish like a vampire. Next, after school, I listen for what the song needs, no, demands for me to do. Usually I have to walk up the big hill in the canyon by my house. On these days it is very sunny and windy, or sometimes even in the rain- on these days I wear my long, black poncho and my eyeliner smears down my face like pain and the echo of haunting love. Sometimes the song asks for the quiet of my basement room and blue lights. In these times I sit in the dark and sometimes fall asleep and sometimes think about boys. However, the song is still working itself out in my soul.
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